Teresa Cruz
Ray Saavedra asked me a while back about how long Teresa and I have been together. I don’t want to say we kept it secret, more like we kept it private, for a long time. There was one night, months ago, I don’t even remember when it was, something happened and I think it was either Solana or Mercedes that called everyone up and asked us to get to the house right away. Teresa and I showed up together. It raised some eyebrows but there was also a lot of denial, no one said anything or brought it up again. I figure it was hard on Mercedes especially, trying to image her mom with anyone other than her dad. That’s one of the reasons Teresa and I kept it private, while the two of use saw how things went. Ray asked me if it was before that. I just told him yes, it was before that. I while before that. I didn’t tell him how long.
I’m pretty sure that I had a thing for Teresa from the first time I met her. She’s gorgeous, she’s smart, she’s self-confident, it would be hard not to find her attractive. It was after the Gomez family massacre, after I’d pulled Solana out of that house of Hell. The kid was traumatized, practically catatonic. I insisted on riding with the EMT’s back to the hospital. I figured I’d sit there until someone from Child Protective Services showed up, I didn’t really think about surviving adult members of the family. Teresa, Solana’s aunt, came to claim her. Teresa’s own daughter, Mercedes, was the same age and they were already like sisters, so it just made sense that Teresa would take her in and eventually adopt her. We talked a little bit then, not much. I was the cop, it was a family matter.
Over the years I checked in. I felt an obligation to let Teresa know I was working the case, trying to bring the people that committed this atrocity to justice. Even after the DEA moved on and away from the case, let it go cold, I kept working it. It was personal for me, and Teresa knew it. I became a friend of the Gomez family, even though I knew they were coyotes and they knew I was a cop. That difference wasn’t something we talked about. I didn’t think Solana, this little girl who’s watched her parents get killed, was any less deserving of justice because her parents had been criminals. I didn’t think the surviving members of the Gomez family, the wives and kids and uncles and aunts, were any less deserving of justice because their family members had be executed by a rival drug cartel. There were people not directly involved in the drug war. Their relatives in the drug trade weren’t killing in a shoot out with the Montes de Oca cartel. They were executed, in their homes, men, women, and children, young and old. If they’d found Solana, they would have killed her, too. That she was alive was a miracle.
Anyway, I stayed in touch. Once in a while I’d drop a line, make a phone call, stop in the copy shop, just to left Teresa know I was keeping the case alive, and ask about the girls. I sent presents on birthdays and Christmas, without names, Solana and Mercedes had no idea who I was, other than maybe some vague knowledge that I was one of the DEA agents on scene at the massacre. Teresa and I became friends, that was all. It evolved into an occasional lunch, a cop of coffee now and then, that’s it.
The official story of how I was recruited into the Gomez organization is that Michael Saavedra recruited me. He saw that I was available talent, and suggested to Rafael Gomez, the head of the family, that they pick me up. Technically, that’s true. That’s how I understand it happened, that’s what Rafael told me, Michael Saavedra stood up for me and Rafael agreed and offered me a job. Now, why would the head of the Gomez family so readily offer a cop a job in a criminal organization? Because they knew me. Because they knew I cared about the family, and looked in on the girls and Teresa, that I was already a friend of the family. Because I’d gotten fired for insisting the Gomez family was deserving of justice. I think Rafael was doing me a kindness, repaying my kindness over the years by giving me a job. I’d never met Rafael before. I’d met Michale once or twice before, in passing, at the copy shop, and only really knew him through his rap sheet. Michael had no reason to stand up for me. Rafael had no reason to truth me enough to bring me in. It had to be Teresa.
How long have Teresa and I been going on, Ray? It depends on how you define it. We’ve been friends for around eight years. We started getting involved romantically once I started working for the organization. When it happened, and it just sort of happened, it felt natural, like it was a long time coming. Like it was something that was supposed to happen.
The night the shadow was coming for Solana, the night I was ready to sacrifice myself to keep it from taking Solana, the night I decided I was sick of lies and living this dysfunctional, segregated life, I bought a ring. I told Mercedes that I was in love with her mother and was going to ask her to marry me. Mercedes laughed at me, but I told her I was just being straight up with her. I told Solana, and true to the way her mind works and the bluntness with which she deals with the word got confused and said she thought we were just having sex and didn’t know we were dating. God love that kid. Ray laughed at me, thought I was crazy, but I think he respected me for going for it even though he thought I was going to get shot down.
For her part, all Teresa said was “not yet.” I told her that I wanted to tell her, because I was afraid I wasn’t going to be around in the morning, and I wanted her to know. She told me I was brave, and that she believed in me, and knew we’d all get through that terrible morning. And we did. We bound the demon, or did whatever it was we did to sent that thing back where it came from and keeping it from coming back. A few weeks later, Teresa and I got engaged for real .
Look at me, I’ve got a life.
